Master Cleanse Theatre

Hey pals. "Why are you home alone on a Saturday night?" you may ask. It's none of your business, but I'm really really REALLY HIGH** right now so I'll spill it.

I'm on Day 3 of the Master Cleanse and it is making me hallucinate from starvation, exhaustion, and the THRILL OF BEING SKINNY (jokes!). I've done this before and it's always the same: 3-4 days of torture, then 5-10 days of feeling clean, clear-headed, thin, and energized. I mainly do it to kill my cravings and kickstart a diet, but pretty much everyone I know hates it and thinks it's shit. Moving along.

I'm too wiped to go out and I can't drink alcohol or eat, so I'm doing sober/old people activities. Today we went to the museum and Golden Gate park, and tonight we went to a screening of the 1927 silent version of Joan of Arc as the Baltimore Symphony Orchestra played a live score. It was an incredible experience, truly. Not just the epic movie (warning: NOT A RENTAL), but the music itself was perfectly composed. Seems that #OldLyfe activities suit me.

Anyhow, here are two creepy photo-morphing videos of Lindsay Lohan and Lady Gaga:

** By "high" I mean I'm both light-headed from this cleanse and vibing from the amazing show I just saw.