Um guys? I have questions. About you. About us.

Oh hey how's your week going? Are you super busy doing stuff? I mean, work is so crazy and you're like so over it and totally ready for the weekend, right? Don't forget to pick up your dry cleaning and call Brenda to remind her about the potluck!

Anyhow, I know you're slammed right now, but I just wanted to ask you a couple of questions about how you've been spending your free time. Judging from the search terms that brought you here, it seems that you and I are in a strange, co-dependent relationship. Like, guys, it's bad. 

Perhaps we should take some time for introspection to reflect upon our prior behavior and ask ourselves who we are and who we really want to become.


On the one hand, you guys are gross (please refer to the list of search terms provided below). On the other hand, the gross things you were hunting for on the internet were somehow provided by me, right here on this blog. I mean, I don't THINK I have addressed all the issues that your search terms have commanded, but then again, I've got serious SEO juice on the following (I themed a few things out because if I have to be scared, so do you):

bulimia is so '87
bro you're a god among bros

creepy clown doctor
cool nazi stuff
chinese gay show cock

90's seinfeld fashion
elaine seinfeld fashion
elaine seinfeld socks
elaine seinfeld hair
elaine seinfeld dance
elaine from seinfeld
elaine benes 

homemade goat feet 

i'm going to die 
i'm finally on vacation
i am god's perfect asshole

i want to see sex
i want see sex
i want see make sex

juicy stepmom

orgy renaissance faire
orgy in the woods

poopoo and peepee

secrets of the clown

who gives a shit about canada?

what's uncool for teenagers
what's cool for teenagers

hot sex gay naked
sexy carrot
sexy chicken 
sex clown

tiniest penises
tiniest penis ever
tiniest dick in the world
the world's tiniest penis
world's tiniest dick
world's tiniest penis

smurfs banging
smurf scenes
smurf orgy

and not one fuck
and not a single fuck was given that day
and a single fuck was not given on that day
and 0 fucks were given that day
zero fucks were given that day

christmas party drunks
christmas party drunken santa
christmas is boring!
christmas is boring with my family
christmas is boring when you are alone
christmas families hell
christmas boring
drunken xmas party
drunken xmas bar
drunken santa 
drunken christmas party
drunken christmas parties
drunk women christmas
drunk santa parade
drunk person at christmas
drunk people at christmas party
drunk guy christmas party
drunk guy at the christmas party
drunk german christmas
drunk family
drunk crazy santa party
drunk christmas party karaoke
drunk christmas parade
drunk christmas
my boring christmas day 
my boring christmas
sexy drunk santa
sexy drunk christmas party

This is the first time I've ever looked this deeply into my site's analytics report, and I have learned a lot from it. Mostly that Christmas is really boring and/or sexy, but also that perhaps I shouldn't write about things that will attract weirdo sex freaks to my blog. Yay!