The Internet Is My Boyfriend: 11/1/2010

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Every morning I wake up and read the whole entire Internet. Usually there's something about unemployment or Glenn Beck miraculously becoming the Secretary of State because you didn't fucking vote yesterday and let the reds take over the nation (particularly upset about the Gubernatorials). 

See? This is what happens to me every minute inside my head unless I'm looking at cat videos or watching Bravo.
So, in order to counteract the pain that is life, I turn to the Internet to wipe my tears, hold me a little bit, and tell me everything is going to be okay. And then he makes me laugh and we run off into the sunset together. And by running off into the sunset, I mean posting these tidbits to share with you guys because this is my happyspace.

Disclaimer: I'm tardy to the party on a couple of these items but it would be unjust for not to share them with as many members of the human race as possible. Duty calls.

thanks Jerry
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The Hairpin highlighted pretty much the most embarrassing article ever published by a man, ever. (via The Hairpin)

**note: I just want to take a moment before moving onto the next tidbit to tell you that THE HAIRPIN is my new favorite website (except for Gawker). The Editor, Edith Zimmerman, is responsible for this sentence:
"The more you make fun of old people,
the quicker you die."

If you know me at all you know that I LOVE THE OLDS. Like, I will get rear-ended screeching to a halt before the cross-walk if it means an elderly person can cross the road in peace. Even the grumpy ones.

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Frank Bruni is not only Food Critic for The New York Times, he is one of the most distinguished and feared critics in the world. The fact that he reviewed this DISGUSTING CAFFEINATED MALT LIQUOR drinks cracks me up. 
(via NY Times)

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PS- They left Matthew McConaughey and Reese Witherspoon off the list

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Some superduperextracrafty lady behind The Barbie Canvas transformed her Mattel dolls into B-C-and-D-list celebrities. Click the link to view the entire collection

I first watched this video in June thanks to Jillian, but I stumbled into it again last night and wanted to share it. It's not only beautifully shot and directed, aaaand super sessy, Charlotte Gainsbourg's "Master Hands" is the perfect soundtrack to this piece for multiple reasons (title, lyrics, composition, innuendos, the sexual puppetry aka molest-y thing Megan does to her real doll)... WHAT DO YOU THINK?