P-retty sure at least ALL of you watched Jersey Shore last night. If you didn't you need to get your Armani Exchange'd ass infront of the damn televisions and witness New York's WET DREAM.

My obsession with the Guids goes back 6 years. First there was the 2003 live reading by Jon Benjamin at TINKLE of a poem from NJ-GUIDO.COM called "Shot Girl." Next, there was the photo safari mish with OBGY-Glen. We made it our duty to hang out in some Dirty Jerz Guido bars and shoot them all for a nice coffee table book (we honestly felt like National Geographic photographers about this. Of course we never did anything and there's no book).

This was followed by a 4-year montage of being obsessed with various Guido sites and sightings. One time we were blessed by the Oily Bohunk Heavens when we went to the San Gennaro Festival and the Gotti kids exited a Hummer right in front of us and all the little Guidettes started screeching like they were at a Dylan McKay mall appearance in the summer of '91).

Then, god bless his little 3M Photo Mount Spray Adhesive-encrusted head of hair, Lee Hotti suddenly started sizzling on the scene. Not long afterward I stumbled upon these DELICIOUS SPECIMENS OF STYLE (pleasepleaseplease for the love of god click through the pics to witness the splendid magnificence). Did you ever see the post I did about pre-StreetCarnage Beckles? He was so BUSTED.

This cultural phenomenon swept the nation and was followed by a timely release of Hot Chicks With Douchebags which categorically broke down the types of Guids we all know and love from the website. Throw in a little Tool Academy membership, some of the Ed Hardy disease, top it off with MTV's  lazy ass show that no one watches called Is She Really Going Out With Him and BOOM! GUIDO PIE.

And now, in it's latest incarnation, the Guido has become our new best friend with the JERSEY SHORE. First off, free beejs to all the producers who worked on this and a DP to the casting directors. Second, you know there's a 'situation' right? The Situation is that Mike's abs that are so ripped "it's a situation." And that's just one tiny sliver.

Welcome to mainstream America kids! Double high-fives and double Fuck Yeahs! May the Fist Pumping commence! FPz4EVA*

* Project Matt gave me that one